After years of going back and forth, weighing pros and cons, you’ve decided to have rhinoplasty performed. While deciding who to tell about your surgery is completely up to you, you might find deciding whether to tell your kids is the hardest part.
Whether you decide to tell them or not, your kids will most likely notice something is up when you come home one day with a bandage on your nose. What you say about rhinoplasty to your kids depends on how much you’re comfortable sharing and how old your children are.
Making the Decision to Tell
It can be easy to decide not to tell your children about your surgery, especially if they are very young or if they’ve gone away to college and don’t visit often. But, unless your children are still infants or never come home to see you, odds are they will notice that something is up, whether they see you with a bandage on your nose, facial bruising or notice that you look different the next time they come home.
In many cases, it makes more sense to let your kids know about the surgery, either before you have it or once they are old enough to understand the concept. You probably want your kids to feel that they can be open and honest with you. A great way to encourage that is to be open and honest with them.
What to Say
How to tell your kids about your rhinoplasty can be a different matter entirely. It depends in large part on how old they are. A teenager who’s pushing boundaries and questioning everything is likely to react in a different way to your surgery than a 6 year old who still thinks the sun revolves around you.
Be honest with your kids about the reasons for your surgery. If you’re having rhinoplasty to make your nose smaller, say that. If you’re having the surgery to correct a breathing problem, say that. You might also want to prepare your kids for the way you’ll look and act after the surgery, particularly if they are very young. Let them know that there will be bruising, and that you’ll look like you are hurt, but that they have nothing to fear. If they are under age 10, let them know that you’ll have to rest easy for a few a days and won’t be able to run around or play with them for a while.
With older children, you might be worried about issues of self esteem. Will having rhinoplasty make your 13 year old worry about his or her nose? You can use your decision to have surgery as an opportunity to have a frank discussion with your teenager about body image and self confidence. Let your child know that you think he or she is perfect as he or she is. If they ask about having surgery themselves, stress that it is a decision they can make further down the road, when they are adults.
How to Handle Questions
Odds are your children will have a lot of questions about the surgery. Some of their questions might surprise you. The important thing is to try to answer them as truthfully as you can. Your answers might depend on the child’s age.
For example, if a 5 year old asks what will happen during the rhinoplasty, your answer will probably be a bit different than it would be if a 15 year old asked the same question. You want to ease your child’s mind and assure him or her that there’s nothing to fear and that you’ll be comfortable and safe during the procedure.
If Your Children Don’t Approve
It can be difficult to discuss rhinoplasty with older children if you get the feeling that they don’t approve of your decision. Whether your child agrees with your choice or not is his or her prerogative. As a parent, the best you can do is to explain your reasons for wanting the surgery. If the child is very much against the procedure, listen to what he or she has to say, and then explain that you respect his or her opinion, but that you feel this is the best decision for you.
Schedule Your Rhinoplasty Consultation Today
When it comes to plastic surgery and your family, honesty is usually the best policy. A facial plastic surgeon, such as Dr. Ran Y. Rubinstein, can provide guidance to further help you discuss the issue with your children. Contact us by email or call 845-863-1772. Dr. Rubinstein’s practice has two locations in New York, one in Newburgh and one in Manhattan.
Dr. Rubinstein has been practicing in the Hudson Valley for more than 15 years and specializes in esthetic laser producers, facial plastic surgery, nasal, and sinus disorders. He uniquely combines his medical and surgical expertise to help patients feel better and look better. He holds dual board certification from the American Board of Facial Plastic and Reconstructive Surgery and the American Board of Otolaryngology – Head and Neck Surgery, is a member of the American Society for Laser Medicine & Surgery, and is an Assistant Professor at New York Columbia Presbyterian Hospital.